Looking for some help/advice as a caregiver

[reddingaz]

Hi all - I'm in desperate need of some advice

I'm new to the forum but have been reading them for a while. My husband developed RSD about 5 years ago after a workplace accident. It started in his arm/shoulder & after an angiogram it spread to his leg/groin - Now it's pretty much systemic. We've done a couple of ketamine treatments & he acheived some relief from them but due to the expense I don't forsee any more in the near future. Understandably he's been dealing with a lot of depression & anger but it seems to be reaching a boiling point now & I just don't know what to do. He's talked a lot recently about wanting to end things because he just can't handle it anymore. I've been trying for months to get him to attend a support group or see a counselor either with or without me but he refuses to go. His Dr had him on antidepressants not only for the depression but also to try & help him sleep but he's stopped taking them & says they make him feel sick. I'm afraid I'm going to come home from work one day & find that he's actually gone through with it.
I'm at a loss - I want to help him but he refuses everything I suggest. What do I do?

[daniella]

Hi I am sorry about your husband and also the toll this takes on you. Your husband sounds like me during a period of the RSD. Mentally I became a mess between my anxiety,depression,fear,moods I could go on. In my past I had been to a psych but was not seeing one during this. I have had rsd almost 4 years. My mom was really pushing me to go to one and I would not. I kept saying if they would fix my pain mentally I would be better. Well that was not happening. Really I got to a point where I should of been in a psych unit. So much happened to my body physically and the pain got so bad mentally it had such a bad impact. I finally went back to the psychiatrist after a lot of pushing. I am so glad I did. Mentally though things are hard and I still have my days the difference is huge and much better. I cope even on bad days much better,calmer,more rational. I also recently did biofeedback. Many of us on here see someone for the mental side of things. As my pain doctor says one can't be in such high pain and for so long as many of us and it not impact us mentally.
Now I know your husband is an adult and he can't be forced. Has he explained why he won't go? Have you told your husband how scared you are you will loose him? Have you thought of going to support group? My mom has been for rsd and families. Maybe your husband would join you. Could he come on here? I wish I had more answers for you. I hope your husband will get more help that he deserves.

[SandyRI]

I'm so sorry.

If your husband's accident was WC, and the ketamine was working for his pain, then it should be up to the Courts whether he is able to continue to receive the treatments. Do you have a good WC lawyer to fight for your husband to get the treatments that work for his pain.

I see a psychologist regularly. If your husband won't go, perhaps it would help if you did. RSD impacted my entire family.

Please take care of yourself. XOXOX Sandy

Originally Posted by reddingaz

Hi all - I'm in desperate need of some advice

I'm new to the forum but have been reading them for a while. My husband developed RSD about 5 years ago after a workplace accident. It started in his arm/shoulder & after an angiogram it spread to his leg/groin - Now it's pretty much systemic. We've done a couple of ketamine treatments & he acheived some relief from them but due to the expense I don't forsee any more in the near future. Understandably he's been dealing with a lot of depression & anger but it seems to be reaching a boiling point now & I just don't know what to do. He's talked a lot recently about wanting to end things because he just can't handle it anymore. I've been trying for months to get him to attend a support group or see a counselor either with or without me but he refuses to go. His Dr had him on antidepressants not only for the depression but also to try & help him sleep but he's stopped taking them & says they make him feel sick. I'm afraid I'm going to come home from work one day & find that he's actually gone through with it.
I'm at a loss - I want to help him but he refuses everything I suggest. What do I do?

[Jo*mar]

There are many types of antidepressants maybe another one would work better for him. With less side effects.
They usually help the pain meds to work better too.
Have the drs explained any of that to him?

Unfortunately some people or their family members feel a stigma or that it is weakness to go to a psych, but with such extreme and long term pain one is usually needed.