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What to do with a 22 year old who won't accept the diagnosis?

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Unread 12-21-2010, 11:06 AM   #1
EllenT
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Default What to do with a 22 year old who won't accept the diagnosis?

Hi I am new to this forum, and am scared and frustrated. My 22 year old daughter was recently diagnosed as bipolar but she refuses to accept the label, and will not take any medications or see any therapists. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks back in October and the experience was beyond frightening - I am worried that it has left her with so many negative impressions that she may never trust a doctor again. She was drugged into a state of utter fog, and was given no particular attention in the hospital. She was released without clear instructions other than to see her psychiatrist for more medication. She lives on her own not near me, and while I have spent time with her, I can only do so for short periods of time because she gets angry and feels that she has no privacy. She seems fine on some days, then on others starts ranting and expressing serious paranoia about things that make no sense. If I try to tell her that she's not making any sense, she says that I just don't understand what is going on in her head. I wish she would get back to treatment but do not know how to make that happen.

If anyone out there has been through something similar - please let me know what might work. Am seeing a therapist myself, which is helping, but I still have no concrete advice on what to do next. Waiting for the next bad thing to happen is just scary, and the loss of control and influence over the kid's behavior is terrifying too.

thanks
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Unread 12-21-2010, 02:01 PM   #2
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Hi ,
I copied your post onto the main bipolar forum also, since your daughter is 22, I think the members will have some helpful information for you.

Maybe your daughter will want to join later on, to share & talk with the members here.
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Unread 12-21-2010, 02:39 PM   #3
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I sure understand why you are frustrated with your 22 year old. It hurts when your child makes a decision, or fails to make a good decision. This has happened to me with my daughter. Sometimes they have to find out on their own, what they themselves need. There is a good forum for this subject too. I gave my daughter the best advise I could, and she chose to do something different. As a parent you wish sometimes you had more influence. Ginnie I hope you find peace with your daughter for the new year
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Unread 12-21-2010, 03:02 PM   #4
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I think your daughter has the right idea to want to avoid being "drugged into an utter fog"! The first step should always be to check for any physical condition, allergy, hormone imbalance etc. Proper nutrition, exercise and/or supplements handles most of these so-called "mental disorders". You might try agreeing with her distrust of psychiatry as a first step towards regaining her confidence, then she if she would be willing to try any of the above.
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Unread 12-21-2010, 06:08 PM   #5
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Ellen,

As you and your daughter pointed out, bipolar is just a label. The important point is treatment and healing. Therapy not necessarily for the label "bipolar" but for specific problems in her life. Treatment CAN be accomplished even if the "label" is rejected.

You may also want to contact the parents at www.bpkids.org and take a look at Mark Hyman's book and blog: http://www.ultrawellness.com/blog and Wolfson's as well: http://www.itsnotmental.com
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Unread 01-05-2011, 03:26 AM   #6
CaraSurf88
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Hi Ellen,

I am 22 years old- I was diagnosed with BP during my first year away at college (age 18). The symptoms I experienced and the diagnosis itself were scary and surreal.

At first I took the meds they handed me, saw a therapist weekly and went to a support group on campus. The support group saved me--- I got to see kids in bad shape who went off their meds and I got advice from kids who were doing well thanks to certain meds. Every week I saw real examples of what BP could turn me into.

At 19 I was experiencing daily hallucinations. My parents didn't like that I was on meds- this plus side effects, plus my warped mind resulted in me stopping my meds alltogether. I decided I was not BP so I didn't need any meds. Within weeks I ended up hospitalized for a week.

Oh and another time for a few months I decided that God would save me and I didn't need meds and started going to church every week. Even though I had never been religious or even stepped into a church before in my life.

My school is far from my parents, we only had phone contact every week or so.

I have been stable with tolerable side effects for 1 year now. (No one would ever suspect I have something wrong with me. I act totally normal now.)

It took lots of medication trials to find the right ones (i'm currently on 6) I was sick alot-- and could barely get to school. I lost friends b/c they didn't understand why I was also too sick to leave my room.

So I guess it took me 3 years to get my BP under control. I work, go to school, go to parties with friends. I'm a totally normal 22 year old college girl. As long as I take care of myself- meds, therapy, eating regularly, daily excercise, regular sleep routine etc. I've learned to watch out for things that set me off like a cluttered room or going to bed too late. It's a learning process and a bumpy ride but eventually she will be able to manage her symptoms.

It was luck and alot of hard work that I have made it through. My parents have never even taken me to a Dr. appt.

For me during that "trial and error" 3 year period it was MOST IMPORTANT that I STAY in a SAFE ENVIRONMENT. I made rules for myself like no driving at night(when I might be hypomanic). Don't leave the house when hypomanic etc.

It may be beneficial for you to live closer to her if possible-- so she has someone nearby to call if she does not feel safe by herself. My parents were very lucky that I figured BP out on my own without too many scars. They had nothing to do with my getting better.


Sorry for the rambling story. Let me know if you would like any more tips. I have been through it all.
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Unread 01-18-2011, 10:00 PM   #7
misunderstood
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hey ellen

I am in a similar situation. i understand your frustration. my daughter is 28 and has been dealing with this diaorder for 3 yrs. i go through very emotion, i am so afraid for her, i want to help her so much but i just do not know what to do to help.i am so angry sometimes and blame myself, i wondered if it was something i did as she was growing up. i do not know sometimes i feel as though i have lost my best friend. she is my first born and a very bright intellegent young lady. nevr gave trouble growing up. i wish i could get her to go into treatment, but she will not go into hospital nor except her condition. she will not stay on her meds. she gets angry at me alot and she is also very paranoid. i am just as frustrated as you r because i have no answers.



Quote:
Originally Posted by EllenT View Post
Hi I am new to this forum, and am scared and frustrated. My 22 year old daughter was recently diagnosed as bipolar but she refuses to accept the label, and will not take any medications or see any therapists. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks back in October and the experience was beyond frightening - I am worried that it has left her with so many negative impressions that she may never trust a doctor again. She was drugged into a state of utter fog, and was given no particular attention in the hospital. She was released without clear instructions other than to see her psychiatrist for more medication. She lives on her own not near me, and while I have spent time with her, I can only do so for short periods of time because she gets angry and feels that she has no privacy. She seems fine on some days, then on others starts ranting and expressing serious paranoia about things that make no sense. If I try to tell her that she's not making any sense, she says that I just don't understand what is going on in her head. I wish she would get back to treatment but do not know how to make that happen.

If anyone out there has been through something similar - please let me know what might work. Am seeing a therapist myself, which is helping, but I still have no concrete advice on what to do next. Waiting for the next bad thing to happen is just scary, and the loss of control and influence over the kid's behavior is terrifying too.

thanks
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Unread 02-08-2011, 08:23 PM   #8
Dmom3005
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To both of your parents that are frustrated. I can totally relate.
THe young folks have to go through denial before they will be ready
to accept the diagnosis. So its going to take some time.

Just continue to be there for them. If they get suicidal enough that
you can have them admitted do that. Love them, and let them know.

I am a parent, but I also am a member of the Adult bipolar room.
But I do not have bipolar. I go there to talk to the adults about
how I can help not only my son, but my sister and others I know
with bipolar. And my own anxiety.

I can tell you it would be something that would help you both.
So come join us.

Donna
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Unread 04-14-2011, 11:02 AM   #9
Geevickie
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Default Good work

Hello, I am the mom of a 22 year old young woman who is very resistant to taking care of herself. I only want to say to you that you should be proud of the hard work you are putting towards caring for yourself. I wish my daughter would do the same.

Good luck to you for your continued success in your life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaraSurf88 View Post
Hi Ellen,

I am 22 years old- I was diagnosed with BP during my first year away at college (age 18). The symptoms I experienced and the diagnosis itself were scary and surreal.

At first I took the meds they handed me, saw a therapist weekly and went to a support group on campus. The support group saved me--- I got to see kids in bad shape who went off their meds and I got advice from kids who were doing well thanks to certain meds. Every week I saw real examples of what BP could turn me into.

At 19 I was experiencing daily hallucinations. My parents didn't like that I was on meds- this plus side effects, plus my warped mind resulted in me stopping my meds alltogether. I decided I was not BP so I didn't need any meds. Within weeks I ended up hospitalized for a week.

Oh and another time for a few months I decided that God would save me and I didn't need meds and started going to church every week. Even though I had never been religious or even stepped into a church before in my life.

My school is far from my parents, we only had phone contact every week or so.

I have been stable with tolerable side effects for 1 year now. (No one would ever suspect I have something wrong with me. I act totally normal now.)

It took lots of medication trials to find the right ones (i'm currently on 6) I was sick alot-- and could barely get to school. I lost friends b/c they didn't understand why I was also too sick to leave my room.

So I guess it took me 3 years to get my BP under control. I work, go to school, go to parties with friends. I'm a totally normal 22 year old college girl. As long as I take care of myself- meds, therapy, eating regularly, daily excercise, regular sleep routine etc. I've learned to watch out for things that set me off like a cluttered room or going to bed too late. It's a learning process and a bumpy ride but eventually she will be able to manage her symptoms.

It was luck and alot of hard work that I have made it through. My parents have never even taken me to a Dr. appt.

For me during that "trial and error" 3 year period it was MOST IMPORTANT that I STAY in a SAFE ENVIRONMENT. I made rules for myself like no driving at night(when I might be hypomanic). Don't leave the house when hypomanic etc.

It may be beneficial for you to live closer to her if possible-- so she has someone nearby to call if she does not feel safe by herself. My parents were very lucky that I figured BP out on my own without too many scars. They had nothing to do with my getting better.


Sorry for the rambling story. Let me know if you would like any more tips. I have been through it all.
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Unread 06-18-2011, 01:04 PM   #10
dorthea
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Geevickie View Post
Hello, I am the mom of a 22 year old young woman who is very resistant to taking care of herself. I only want to say to you that you should be proud of the hard work you are putting towards caring for yourself. I wish my daughter would do the same.

Good luck to you for your continued success in your life.
I am new to this. my thirty something daughter was diagnosed in her preteens. And she still has many problems. Which still to this day affects her.She does not take care of her self. She just started another mess. And she lives in another state. Anytime she does not think she is given the attention,she deserves she does something to make her the center of attention. I wish my daughter would do the same.You go kiddo.
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