Told you all it's been awhile.. Posted on wrong forum..

[Mari]

Originally Posted by cherokee928

They also said panic/anexity and severe depression.

Hi,

Do what she did the last time she moved in with another family. Keep the pdoc and tdoc updated in case you have an opportunity to take her to an emergency appointment.
Keep the lines of communication with her open, let her know that you are available for her, stay patient, and wait until that other family kicks her out.

I had to look up "splitting" to see what it means:

http://bpd.about.com/od/faqs/f/splitting.htm
What is Splitting?

Splitting is very common in people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), and it leads people with BPD to view others and themselves in “all or nothing” terms. For example, a person with BPD may view one family member as always “good” and another as always “bad.” Or, a person with BPD may see themselves as “good” one minute, but shift to seeing themselves as all “bad” or even evil the next.

The experience of splitting is very confusing and frustrating for people with BPD and their loved ones. Splitting can interfere with relationships and work life, and can lead to intense anger and self-destructive behaviors.

Wow. Borderline Personality disorder is very difficult for family members. I hope that you have good support. Do you see a therapist yourself? Therapy will help you keep boundaries and teach you to stay focused on your needs along with those of your spouse and the other children in the family while wishing the best for her.

Keep a file of her school and medical paperwork. In the future she might need you to help her document what she has gone through.

Originally Posted by cherokee928

They also said panic/anexity and severe depression.

Sometimes, these two are treated with the same meds that are used for bipolar. At any rate, meds can help her when she is ready to reach out for help or ends up in the hospital.


Here is a book I have heard that helps family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder:
http://www.amazon.com/Hate-You-Dont-...f=cm_lmf_tit_1

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
People with Borderline Personality Disorder experience such violent and frightening mood swings that they often fear for their sanity. They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the next. They show symptoms such as: a shaky sense of identity; sudden violent outbursts; oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection; brief, turbulent love affairs; frequent periods of intense depression; eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies; an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone.

Here is a web site about borderline:
http://www.bpdcentral.com/support/email.shtml

There are probably other books that you can ask the therapist about.

Mari

[bizi]

Thank you for posting.
I am so sorry that you are going thruogh this.
The book Mari mentioned has a great reputation and has helped many people better understand the disorder. There are also books on codependancy. I also agree with Mari about you needing to gain as many tools, support as possible.
This is a long road to haul, keep your lines open if possible.

((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[cherokee928]

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I will pick up that book and read it. I am not sure what to do anymore but just sit and pray she is being supervised, taking her meds and continuing her therapy. Her dad recieved a phone call today from her counsler at school because Bridgette went to talk toher today and tell her that we were refusing to give her, the rest of her things back, which is totally untrue. I talked to her therapist and she told me that for her age bridgette is the best manipulator she has ever seen, she finds peoples "soft spots" and plays on them until she can't anymore. She also said that Bridgette plays the "victim" roll perfectly. She said that until she is open to therapy that all she can do is hope that she comes to her sessions. She asked me to get in touch with this other family and explain to them what is going on, as she can't because of the privacy laws. I don't know if this is such a good idea because if she is put in a corner she self destructs, that's when the cutting and attempted suicide come into play. I am confused and have no idea what to do. Do I just let her spin her lies, take the judgement that we are "bad parents" that kicked thier child out or do I tell them the truth and take the chance of them telling her to leave and possibly her not coming home and us not knowing where she is at? I certainly don't want her backed into a corner and hurting herself. It is all so confusing, we just want her to get the help that she NEEDS so that possibly she can live a normal life and be happy in the future? Any advice is welcomed. Thank you all again.

[Dmom3005]

Jen

I think you call and get the feel of how the other family is seeing things.

I realize Bridgette covers for herself very well. But I would guess she
will start to show her own colors too. I would want to know if she was
living with me.

So I would encourage you to tell the family. Because there are others
living in the family. And anything can cause a problem.

They can always let you know if they are going to have her leave.

And work with you on this stuff, in my opinion.

donna

[cherokee928]

I did contact the family. Apparantly according to the step mother she is working on her doctorette in behavioral psychology specializing in BPD. How convienent. I explained Bridgettes condition, her diagnosis and her medication and she reassured me that she will get to her appointments, take her meds, etc.. Not sure what more we can do, it is a waiting game now. Thank you for your suggestions and help I do appreciate all of it. I will keep you updated.

Jen

[bizi]

hi jen, maybe she can help her if this is what she is studying.
Maybe she will be able to talk some reason into her. I am glad that you have spoken with the mother. All you can do is keep the lines open and get yourself into a therapist so that you can build upon your own skills.
bizi

[Dmom3005]

Jen

This could be the best thing for all of you for now.

Bridgette will get to her appts. And I'm guessing she will get
her medications. And if the family can't keep her they will
call you first. Before telling Bridgette to leave.

I am so glad you were met with such a straight forward
lady. Hoping you can now get yourself some help too.

Donna

[mymorgy]

i agree with Donna and think it would be wonderful if you could get some help and support too. the stress must be unbearable
bobby

[Mari]

Originally Posted by cherokee928

I did contact the family. Apparantly according to the step mother she is working on her doctorette in behavioral psychology specializing in BPD. How convienent. I explained Bridgettes condition, her diagnosis and her medication and she reassured me that she will get to her appointments, take her meds, etc.. Not sure what more we can do, it is a waiting game now. Thank you for your suggestions and help I do appreciate all of it. I will keep you updated.

Jen

Dear Jen,

Good news if she goes to her appointments.

I think she will be home in three months: On or before Easter.

I am sending lots of good vibes for her, you, and your whole family.

M

[cherokee928]

Hello all.

Last Thursday we had a unexpected visit from Bridgette and the step mother of the friend she is living with. It was a good visit, alot of things were put out in the open however, the only downfall is that Bridgette is no longer taking her medication. She says she is taking it, tells the stepmom she is taking it, but her dad and I know when she is taking it and when she isn't by the way she acts, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt she is not taking it. She also is no longer attending her therapy sessions. Apparantly she got a part time job, which is great although she is currently on disability medicaid and the state said she will probably lose the insurance and have to go on a waiting list for Indiana HIP insurance because she is over the age of 18. She seems to be doing good, somewhat happy although still confused over if she is gay, not that, that would make a difference with anything. When she texts me I let her know we are still here for her, and just want her happy. She is cycling with moods but not as frequent. She really does seem to be doing well. I just hope she isn't putting too much on her plate to prove to this family that she is a regular teenage girl without emotional problems. I pray everyday that she will stay better, but know that one day she is going to push herself too hard and get overwhelmed, which is why I want her to know we are always going to be here for her. Just wanted to give you guys a heads up and get some of your thoughts. I honestly hope she is on the way up and will stay that way. Thanks for all your support.

Jen