feeling melancholy and forlorn

[waves]

Originally Posted by Mari

Waves,

I found my copy of the book. I had dog eared some pages. I have the 1994 copy right.

Dear Mari

the translation i have is based on that edition. I think am going to buy it in English as well because there are places where the translation is ambiguous or more accurately, vague. For instance, "mindfulness" is translated using a word that means "awareness" in its very general sense. E.g. "were you aware the flight was delayed?" True, these terms are sometimes interchangeable in English also. However, when the term "mindfulness" is used with specific reference to Zen practices, it has a narrower scope.

In that sense, we would not say, "were you mindful that the flight was delayed?" - or if we chose to say that, it would have a different meaning. One might in fact be aware of a delayed flight insofar as having been informed of it, but if one were not thinking of the delay at the moment in question, they would not be mindful of it. This subtle distinction is lost in the translation. Were i not "aware" (lol) a priori of the subject matter, i would be reading/understanding "awareness" in the purely general sense. I am also left to wonder what other things may be lost, vague, or ambiguous in the translation.

i originally wanted to buy it in English then i changed my mind to make things easier for pdoc, and make it easier for me to communicate with him.

i also wonder if these "imprecisions" in the translation is contributing to my resistance to reading. things like this sort of upset me. maybe i am being too picky. then again what can one expect from a language buff.

waves

p.s. are your dog-eared pages a sign that you did read the book, after all?

[Mari]

Originally Posted by waves

i originally wanted to buy it in English then i changed my mind to make things easier for pdoc, and make it easier for me to communicate with him.

i also wonder if these "imprecisions" in the translation is contributing to my resistance to reading. things like this sort of upset me. maybe i am being too picky. then again what can one expect from a language buff.

waves

p.s. are your dog-eared pages a sign that you did read the book, after all?

Waves,

The dog eared pages stop half way through. Perhaps I read quickly through the first half and then dog eared pages that I thought would be good to return to. Underlining or marking in pencil or ink would indicate that I read the book carefully. It has no marks.
Amazon does not have record that I bought it from them. I suppose I bought it off the self at nearby Barnes and Noble. I had hoped that a record of my purchase of it on Amazon would give me a clue about what I was thinking at the time I bought it.

am also left to wonder what other things may be lost, vague, or ambiguous in the translation.

Oh Yes. Get a copy in English if that will help you. Remove any barrier you can. There are already barriers to doing something new like this.


M

[ginnie]

Have you ever read an adventure you could not put down where you got lost in the story? This is also a secret world you can go to. I got some good reads I could tell you about. this is my very favorite form of escapism. ginnie

[waves]

Dear Ginnie

i appreciate the suggestion, and i know what you mean - Tolkien is like that for me. unfortunately, right now i am unmotivated to do anything and that includes reading. i should add that i'm not a big reader in general. when do read for pleasure, it is in phases. i read maybe 3 books back to back, and then nothing for months on end.

right now is not a reading phase. if it were, it would probably be quite hard. i don't concentrate well - not even on tv or silly games for very long. the book i have mentioned is specifically for therapy.

as that goes, there is a piercing irony in trying to read a book on mindfulness ... and have your mind wander right out, far and away from the content even though your eyes are still haplessly taking in the written words.

waves

[waves]

Originally Posted by Mari

Underlining or marking in pencil or ink would indicate that I read the book carefully. It has no marks.
Amazon does not have record that I bought it from them. I suppose I bought it off the self at nearby Barnes and Noble. I had hoped that a record of my purchase of it on Amazon would give me a clue about what I was thinking at the time I bought it.

lol. i have bought or inherited a good few books that have suffered the same fate of not quite being read. your process for trying to discover your mindset at time of purchase resembles something i would try to do.

Oh Yes. Get a copy in English if that will help you. Remove any barrier you can. There are already barriers to doing something new like this.

you are right. ok, i will. it might be a hunt. ordinarily i could order online but there are several issues with that at the moment. so i am probably looking at a longer wait, getting to and ordering via a physical store (that is doable however.)

thanks Mari.

waves

[DiMarie]

Originally Posted by waves

right now is not a reading phase. if it were, it would probably be quite hard. i don't concentrate well - not even on tv or silly games for very long. the book i have mentioned is specifically for therapy.

as that goes, there is a piercing irony in trying to read a book on mindfulness ... and have your mind wander right out, far and away from the content even though your eyes are still haplessly taking in the written words.

waves

Ah dear waves, if you can figure out the easiest fix to consentration, package it to sell and I will be the first in line to purchase. The more clutter in my head the more difficult to concentrate. At the same time that seems to keep me from whellowing in self pity to keep the brain in a million directions.

Hope you have better days, and feel better frame of mind soon.
di

[waves]

(((DiMarie)))

thank you so much for your kind words and understanding. LOL yeah if anyone could package concentration, boy they would make a killing off of it... they could probably even sink BigPharma with that!

take good care.

waves

[Mari]

Waves,

I could not tell from your post in the other thread if you and your pdoc decided to discontinue the Inderol.

Cardiologists do not consider how their medications affect mood.
I am guessing that the Inderol could slow things down . . . could cause depression, could lesson or worsen anxiety, could prevent some migraines, could contribute to weight changes even though it is often listed as "weight neutral. . .
other things perhaps like maybe not exactly brain fog but perhaps some fatigue, . . .vivid dreams, . .

Did the cardio doc give it to you as a kind of preventive?

M

[waves]

Hi Mari

Inderal hasn't done anything to my mood. but it hasn't done anything good in general. it may be making me more tired, but i was already really tired and not measuring sleep, so it's hard to tell.

i am having cough at the drop of a hat and now breathlessness episodes.

Inderal can cause bronchospasm as a side effect. Probably for that reason, it is contraindicated in pts with asthma.

i may have some form of asthma. even if i don't, it seems like it is bringing out my cough - easily possible since it can cause bronchospasm.

i have a clean spirometry but have not seen the pulmonologist yet about my life-long "allergic" cough that also came with fatigue and chest pain a couple years ago spring. that was the same year that i had problems through summer, and then had acute issues for a few days when starting Zoloft. i've since discovered Zoloft can also cause bronchospasm.

i also had a nasty bout of coughing at the end of my stress test but since i'd been sick, i didn't think to link it to the exercise, nor tell the cardio of the chronic/episodic problems with cough.

cardio rx'd Inderal for 2 purposes:
1. tachycardic tendency both due to being unfit and with anxious states (dunno how she figured that one out, i did not report any anxious states in my log when we did the halter EKG) Independently of that, whenever i have had an anxiety attack and taken my pulse it has been normal. like not even close to 100.
2. hopeful migraine prophylaxis (but i have since found out this dosage is way too low for that indication).

i am ignoring the anxious bit. i think that's a 2+2=5. i talked to pdoc about the "tachycardia" with being unfit. he confirmed that the heart needs to beat faster to keep the body oxygenated when one is unfit. then, as you get fit, the circulatory system is more efficient, so the heart rate does not go up as much. in other words, slowing one's heart due to being unfit does not seem like a good idea. it means when you try exert yourself, you wear out even faster. she seemed very thorough but i am not really liking her rx, nor the motivations for it.

pdoc said flat out that i should suspend the Inderal since it was not making me feel better, and especially with the fatigue, somnolence & cough being possibly related to it. if it were going to "help" for any tachycardia issues, it would have by now.

unless it really serves a useful purpose, a betablocker can do more harm than good. add to that that Inderal is a non-specific betablocker (i.e. all beta receptor subtypes are affected, not just those affecting the heart.)

i think my mdoc is an idiot since he prescribed the inderal without batting an eye, right at the end of my asking him if i could continue to use salbutamol (an asthma med that HE gave me) in the nebulizer for acute/uncontrollable coughing attacks. we don't know if i have asthma exactly... but we do (he does) know i have a cough problem. it is coming on spring and pollens are already starting. i do need to make an appt with the pulmonologist.

waves

[bizi]

thinking of you tonight.
(((((HUGS)))))
love you
bizi