The people here at NCEP are amazing. The staff is so nice and understanding. They are all well trained in brain injuries...The people here attending are so friendly and positive. Its truly a great place for me...I feel like I'm at home.
There's just one problem...I run out of gas so easily, my brain just shuts down without warning and I have to leave the class. I lasted through most of the day...but towards the end of the day, I attended a vocational class with just one other person. I was trying to follow along with the teacher (he spoke way too fast) and something clicked...and my brain just stopped working. I felt way weird and disoriented. I had to lay down for the rest of that class and missed the next one, too, so I could regain my composure. When I finally (somewhat) emerged, the day was already over. I stuck around after hours for some pizza and BINGO...and that was a failure. There was way too many people, voices and other stuff going on...my brain quickly shut down again. Unable to think, talk, express myself, etc.
I'm writing this from one of the rooms here...they are letting me chill out before I get on the bus. Man, this is so hard for me. Everyone else is just chillin, they don't have problems with overstimulation or anything...it sucks being the only one.
Is this even beneficial for me? I just feel like I'm delaying my recovery by constantly being overloaded by every class and conversation I have. I can't handle anything here
...Its hard to believe its going to get any better...if it was going to get better, I would have gotten better by now because I've been moderating my stimulation at home...and slowly increasing activity before I even started here. Besides, this overstimulation thing was way better a few months back.
I feel good being around a lot of people who have brain injuries and specialists who deal with it everyday...but I still feel alone and frustrated. They are willing to work with me, let me take breaks and what-not but again...is this even beneficial? When my brain shuts down I don't retain any information...and after I rest, I shut down even worse and faster the next time. Its very scary...I feel like I'm going to shut down and never come back.
Waiting to be seen by their nurse and physiatrist. I was told I'd get a full blood panel and spinal tap if I wanted it. Would be nice to have those?
They want to keep pushing me until I break...The "shut down" is getting worse, happening faster and lasting longer each time it happens. I don't know what to think or do???