I don't know if it will help.
But when my mother had her first knee replacement surgery.
Even though we have always talked a lot. And about all kinds of
things. She didn't want to talk about that. But more because she
didn't know what to say. Or how it was going to feel.
Also because everytime, she had what was supposed to be something
simple, something happened. And she ended up in the hospital for
longer periods, with unrelated to beginning surgery problems.
So she would try to not talk about what they were going to do. Lots of
the time. She would tell me in particular. Because of the distance
I had to come. Not to worry, I wasn't needed there. It was only
1 1/2 hours so if I could I'd try to go to all surgeries, but the knees
I made over later. Because I knew she was going to need me later.
And my sisters had each other. There are 4 of us. And if the other
three were going to all be there, or their husbands with them. Then
I didn't need to go for the surgery time too. They would call me afterward.
But I always went to the rehab center more than the hospital surgery time.
Because I felt personally she would need more company in recovery. Than
at the surgery from me.
I didn't know much about the surgery itself. And I honestly know very little
about her medical past. But two of my sisters know were the history is. She has it all written down.