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"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

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Unread 08-05-2008, 05:36 PM   #1
Macophile
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Default "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

>Offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an
>actual class assignment:
>
>The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
>new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person
>will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
>
>As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a
>short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
>another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then
>add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending
>another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
>and so on back-and-forth.
>
>Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the
>story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the
>e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The
>story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
>
>The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
>Rebecca and Gary.
>
>
>THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
>At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
>chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
>reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
>liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
>off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
>him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
>the question.
>
>
>(second paragraph by Gary)
>
>Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
>now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
>than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
>whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to
>Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
>orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
>sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a
>hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him
>flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
>
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>
>He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
>one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
>had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
>pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
>"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
>Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
>excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
>youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
>newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
>innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
>lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>
>Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
>of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of
>its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
>the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had
>left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
>determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage
>of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
>enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop
>them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
>missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
>top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
>coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
>poor, stupid Laurie.
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>
>
>This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
>writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>
>Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
>attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
>"Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
>F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who
>reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>
>As*h@le.
>
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>
>******!
>
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>
>
>F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
>
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>
>
>In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
>
>
>
>(TEACHER)
>
>
>
>A+ - I really liked this one.
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Unread 08-05-2008, 06:56 PM   #2
lor
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Before she said anything TO him I thought, he isn't even taking it seriously, he's having his own kind of 'fun'. At 1st I didn't know for sure but after awhile it seemed like he just wanted to use certain words to maybe see what she might 'be able to do to make a reasonable story'. I think of that story we are all 'writing' in the game room, about the princess. But the one about the princess is all silly fun.
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