My Ex Keeps Messing with My Head and I Hate it!
Ok, a couple of you know about this, but I decided to share to get some insight. Most of you know my husband divorced me back in June...just left a note and he was gone....not the first time I might add but this time for good. Since June he has called me nonstop, said he wants to get back together on 3 different occasions and then changed his mind at the last minute.
He still calls me daily sometimes multiple times a day, says he loves me and the kids,misses us, wants to be part of our lives yada yada, but doesn't want to get back together. I have mantained a friendly contact with him, after all he does pay child support and alimony on time...puts extra money in my account now and then, pays my cell phone bill etc.
My daughter who is 3 has been really traumatized by the divorce and now he is talking about visiting next month and taking her to stay at his parents for a week, I think this is a bad idea because she is EXTREMELY clingy to me since the divorce, she does not know his family at all and hasn't seen him since May...but I can't prevent it either, I can only encourage him to do what is right for her. I want him to stay here locally and let her come home at night. he has never taken the role of primary caregiver for her even when we were together.
Anyway, again today he had some good news at work so he had to immediately call me to tell me about it, he calls when he has a bad day...when he needs advice etc. I would be lying if I said I did not still love him, many of you know how I struggled with this in my faith. But I also feel that this current way things are is making me crazy, I have horrible mood swings, cry, get depressed, basically feel like I am on a rollercoaster I cannot get off of. I want to maintain a civil relationship but this is driving me batty!
BTW..I have discussed this with him and asked what he expects our relationship to be, what he wants from me,does he enjoy messing with my head? He says no,he doesn't expect anything,doesn't know what he wants etc.
One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered.