I am worried...I am not the person I used to be.
I have been in treatment for depression for 39 years....but now the worst thing has happened. I am craving inhalants...everything. Started about 3 months ago..thought it was harmless....sniffed furniture refinisher about 8 times a day but not for long...then paint...gasoline....kerosene...even bug spray...hair spray..nail polish...nail polish remover...car starter (ether), room deodorizer (Glade), Lysol, any aerosol, cooking spray, hair mousse, deodorant, diesel fuel, shoe polish, typewriter correction fluid, any solvent...., etc. I stopped for a week or so, and relapsed. I had been off it for one month this last time, but blew it this weekend, when I accidentally put my hand on a can of paint my husband had hidden. I literally covered my whole face, and nose with paint...even eyelashes. It was horrible, and I did it twice. The craving is unbearable. When I saw myself in the mirror, I nearly died. I AM NOT GOING TO GO THIS ROUTE! PLEASE HELP ME!! I FEEL CALM NOW and am not craving....God help me.....