First of all, thanks a lot to you who replied to this topic. I really appreciate it
It's nice to hear that someone is actually taking me seriously..
Originally Posted by scruffy6666
Iíve been reacting negatively to Ďbadí music in the past couple months, literally fleeing concerts in a panic, fingers in my ears, hunching over trying to block the sound if the treble is too high, or louder than the bass or mids. If the music isnít Ďequalí with all parts in line running smooth thru my body in a rhythm itís unbearable. I have to sit in my car and listen to Ďgoodí music to ísmoothí me out. Itís a drug when itís good. I canít turn it off. I am literally trapped in my car, unable to turn it off. I have done laps around my neighborhood, slowly lowing the music until I reach the final conclusion that I HAVE to turn it off. In the past week I started to notice I could NOT keep my eyes open when the sound was good. My head goes back, eyes shut, Iím sure I look like Iím tripping on acid or something. It started happening while driving last night. Now my good music is controlling me. I pulled over, couldnít stop listening, then I noticed my body tightening, my temples to between by eyebrows straight to the entire top of my brain was in a rolling turmoil not sure whether to enjoy or fight the feeling. It was like a musical orgasm..then I had a seizure. Not my normal partial complex, I was aware, but locked up turned sideways in my car. I figured out that my entire body was trying to Ďbalanceí the music because my left front speaker wasnít working. Muscles under my ear tightened trying block the sound, leaving only the right side to interpret what it was hearing. I reached in desperation for the radio, still undecided whether to enjoy this smooth rolling rush overcoming me, or stop this seizure. I was totally exhausted after and noticed I couldnít be in a room with lights. I slept with an eye mask in silence. Normally I listen to music. I enjoy any genre of music as long as itís perfect sound, rhythm, no drops, singer can sing, bass there to balance the treble. Iíve always said a good song has to be felt from the groin to the top of my chest, each area feeling the different parts..bass, mids, treble.. Iím weird I know. I go to 50 concerts a year because music is my drug that fixes me and Iíve found only musicians understand some of what Iím saying.
Actually, this is pretty much what I've been having, only, much less intense. My attacks have changed it's nature during the time since I started the topic, but I have yet to see a neuro. I contacted a doctor almost two months ago, but I have yet to get an actual appointment... My sz are a little bit different now. I still get my laughing fits, but rather than feeling happy, I rather get the feeling of... I dunno, I suppose malicious pleasure is the correct word for it? I still enjoy the sz themselves, but it also started to come with a feeling of abstinence... If I get a sz and don't get my regular dose of them afterwards, I start to lose my grip of reality and it literally feels like I'm losing myself. I hear.. not screams, but like a sensation of screams.. like a memory, or a thought that I can't control, and it just never stops.
Everything is foggy. It's like there's two worlds, mine and the one that belongs to the person who's screaming, and I'm not entirely sure which one is the real one and which one is the illusion... Needless to say, I tend to avoid getting seizures now.
I got rid of my hyperacusis almost completely, but now I'm stuck with this b***crap
This change happened almost within a week after my hyperacusis started getting better, so I still think there's a connection. Of course I can't be sure, since I avoided music a lot more when I was sound sensitive...
But Scruff, I'm... kind of confused by your statement that not everyone gets what your talking about when you said that music has to be 'felt'... I know exactly what you are talking about, in fact, I thought that was the normal reaction? :S can somebody please clear this up for me?