I have decades experience with ADD/ADHD individuals in the home.
This type of anger is not present with us.
Firstly--I would ask if your wife uses stimulants for the ADHD. If so she could be becoming toxic on them. Amphetamines specifically. This should be discussed with the doctor prescribing them.
Secondly-- Many personality styles can be present in everyone. All of us have various mixtures of traits. There is a very good self help book, written by John Oldham M.D. that you should get and read. It explains how different personality types interact with each other.
Here is a website with brief descriptions from the book:
This book is VERY readable, and fascinating. You won't be disappointed.
It explains how the various types get along with each other as well.
The test in it is not fudgeable, and very revealing. Before you go to therapy, you should invest in this book and see where you both stand.
Each personality discussed, has a disorder linked to it, which is the extreme version. These disorders are the ones treated by professionals.
For example vigilant types may become paranoid.
A sensitive may become avoidant.
The website above does not go into the DISORDERS, but the book does.
The book is not expensive either.
In all the years I have read psychology books, I always go back to this one
for a refresher. There is just nothing like it out there either. You will understand yourself, your wife, kids, relatives and coworkers in a new way!